~Nekocol

Firstly, let me say, calmly, that a work of literature is foremostly a WRITTEN WORK. All other forms of its existence is merely interpretational.

Now I will berate this particular one to no end.

OMG, OMFG, NEVER< EVER< EVEEER judge a book off of an audio version because it is truly the furthest thing from what an author pictures when they write! There are several reasons why audio books are evil, the foremost the one where YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE NARRATOR so while your lead female sounds like, "Mwa! Bellisimo!" The damn male characters sound like the sick sad fallout of western films, EVEN WHEN THE FUCKING STORY TAKES PLACE IN NEW YORK CITY!!!!!111

Reason numero two: PRONUNCIATION. There is NOOO GOD, the errors in pronunciation *most especially in fantasy where there are very few words which exist in reality* are enough to make me want to slowly insert cigarettes into my cuticles *I thought long and hard and decided that this is the sentiment exactly, slowly sifting a burning object beneath the nail, watching as flesh curls and turns to something fully unrecognizable whiles that sweetly sickening scent of roasting flesh floods my nostrils*
Or something like that^^

Reason number three: PERSON~ALITY. My Mediterranean prince sounds like a friggin cowboy, my heroine is suddenly emo, my villian, oh *mourning the death of her villain*

Reason number four: I, even before this, have been slightly against audio books. They take away an aesthetic element when they make one person read the story, forcing it to don only one identity. The reason a story exists is TO BE READ. the words were adhered together by blood, sweat and tears TO BE READ. I spent three years (+two in publishing) and many authors have spent decades and decades because they want their stories TO BE READ, not have someone READ IT TO YOU!!
I accept that audio books are a necessity and by all means support their existence in the sense that it opens books to people who otherwise would be unable to read it. In that sense, I more than happily welcome people to buy them, enjoy them. But if you are capable of READING in the sense of taking a book and putting it in front of you and perusing it with your eyeballs and getting your brain all drenched with the plot and the words and the things that even the author can't see sometimes, THERE IS NO SANE REASON WHY YOU SHOULD JUST LISTEN TO AN AUDIOBOOK!!
I am sorry if this inadvertantly offends anyone who might be reading it (though I am fully convinced no one actually reads what I write here anyway) but this is truly how I feel. I'm sure there are narrators who can do audio books amazing justice, ones to make me sob and such, but I still stand by my claim that a book, if in a book form, should be read by an individual, by hand.

Thank you for humoring my momentary lapse of control.